I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
