A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Randomize
