You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize
