I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
