Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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