if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
