I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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