just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
