Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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