I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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