I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
