the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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