between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
