Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
You are a genius and a whore.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
