census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
