It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
