Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
My dick has a subreddit
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
