This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
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