I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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