I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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