I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
