we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
