you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
How does it feel to date your dad?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
