someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
