Heybabeimwearingurpanties
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I am naked and annoyed.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
