you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
