yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I stole a fireplace last night.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Randomize
