The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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