Are we in a gay sports bar?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
