listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
