we're blogging at a bar
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
i dont even know how to be here
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
