Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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