hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Two words: blizzard sex
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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