i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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