Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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