What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
She's the barista slut.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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