I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
