Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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