I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
