What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
