honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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