Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(909): View more from California

dude i'm inner monologue high

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(310): View more from California

I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.

(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Four. Poor grandma...

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(773): View more from Illinois

Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.

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(757): View more from Virginia

You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now

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(504): View more from Louisiana

Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?

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(518): View more from New York

I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.

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(845): View more from New York

Did you make it home alright?

(1-845): View more from New York

No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.

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