Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize