i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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