My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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