Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
