I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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