our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
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