why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
