Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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